Independence
by PhandomGirl46
Summary: Winona pays Jim a visit, which goes all wrong when Jim realizes why she's there. Can Spock and McCoy help him as he struggles through memories he had pushed down for years?
1. Emotional Visits

(A/N: Thanks to all who read and/or reviewed my other two stories, 'Love' and 'If I Die Young'. I'd be honored if you read them, and even more so if you reviewed and/or favorited them along with this story! This story is un-betaed, so I apologize for any mistakes.)

Captain James Tiberius Kirk walked into the Starfleet Living Center, where all the officers lived if they didn't have a home of their own, heading toward the stairs but was stopped by the receptionist.

"Sir, you have a visitor up in your room waiting for you."

"Thanks, Jeanette," he smiled, hurrying up the stairs.

Jim pushed open the door and stopped in his tracks.

An attractive woman rose to greet him. Shoulder length, wavy white-blonde hair. A curvy, slim body. With her blue-green eyes she could have been a model, but Jim wasn't fooled. He knew exactly who she was.

"Winona."

Winona smiled. A warm smile, that when he was younger was only given to Sam.

"Hello, Jim."

She reached for him, but he stepped back.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded.

Winona smiled again, but Jim wasn't fooled yet another time.

"I wanted to see you. What, I can't see my son?"

She paused, then continued.

"I'm so proud of you. I always knew you would be like your father. Tall, handsome, famous..."

"No."

Winona blinked at Jim in mild surprise. "No?"

"No."

Anger that he had forced down for years came back up.

"You never knew that. You never helped me. You tore me down, and said I was a useless brat that would never amount to anything."

Jim took a step toward her, his lean, muscled body tense with anger and his slightly controlled temper flaring.

"You tore me down. You never loved me. You hated me. You loved Sam, but not me. Oh, no, Jim is a useless piece of dirt who doesn't know a thing. You didn't give a dang about me!"

Jim was screaming now, and Winona reached for him.

"Jim-"

"Don't touch me!"

"James-"

"No! You hated me! I did everything! I got perfect grades, I never played, I did all my chores. And what did I get? An abusive stepfather, a hateful mother, and a trip to Tarsus IV on which I lived before and during the massacre!"

Winona gasped, her face registering shock.

"Frank, abusive? The Tarsus IV massacre? Jim, you..."

'Yes!"

Jim took a breath, finally losing it.

"You never cared! I was just a piece of dirt to you! You hated me! You DESPISED me! But I rose above it. I survived you. I survived Frank. I survived Tarsus IV. And now I'm a Starfleet captain, and what do you do? You think, 'oh, James is famous now, time for me to step in and be his mom'. Well, no! I HATE you!" Jim raged, smashing things on the ground.

Winona took a step back.

"Jim-"

"No! Get out!"

He shoved her out and slammed the door. Then, when she was gone and his anger had ebbed away to hurt, he dropped to his knees and cried. Cried for the life he never had. Cried for all the people on Tarsus IV who had died. He just cried.

(A/N: Hope you liked it! Please review.)


	2. Poker Faces and Checkups

(A/N: So, here's chapter two! This originally was supposed to be a oneshot, but restfulsky5 gave me an idea to continue this. Thanks to MusicalNinja15, sherry15, and restfulsky5 for reviewing!)

A half hour after Winona's visit to Jim, McCoy was impatiently waiting in the sickbay (A/N: Or whatever you call it) for Jim to show up for his yearly checkup.

After waiting for fifteen more minutes with still no sign of the young captain, Bones sighed and marched up the stairs towards Jim's room. Stopping outside the door, he yelled,

"Jim, you have your yearly checkup today! Get out here!"

When there was no answer, he added threateningly,

"There's no use in hiding. I have the medical override code."

Still no answer.

"Jim! If you don't open this door, I will, and you don't want that. I have hypos with me!"

Bones waited for a few moments, then punched in the override code and marched into the room.

"Jim, I warned you about hid-"

He stopped in mid-sentence when he saw Jim, curled up on the floor, crying his heart out, his body wracking with sobs.

"Jim?"

McCoy dropped down beside Jim on the floor, automatically checking his pulse. Seventy nine beats per minute. A little high, but not high enough to worry.

"Jim, what's wrong?" he asked, his tone soft, a big jump from when he had first marched into the room.

Jim raised his head, tears trickling down his cheeks and tear stains on his face.

"She- she came- and she- she said-"

He broke into tears again.

"Jimmy, Jimmy, calm down. It's alright," Bones comforted him.

"Who is 'she'?"

"Wi- Wi- Winona," Jim gulped, rubbing his eyes.

McCoy frowned at the name. _What the heck was she doing here?_

"And what did she say?"

Jim blinked, then quickly stood as if just realizing Bones was there.

"Nothing."

Jim blew his nose, then went into the bathroom.

McCoy heard running water as Jim splashed water onto his face, and when he came out of the bathroom he looked like nothing had happened except for a few traces of tears near his chin.

_Curse his poker face,_ McCoy thought.

"You said Winona was here," he pressed.

A flicker of sadness, hurt, and anger passed over Jim's face, then was gone.

"Yes. She was here."

"Why?" Bones pushed even more.

"That's none of your business," Jim said cooly.

_I know what he's doing. He's probably going to pull rank._

"Now, doctor, don't you have work to do?"

"Yeah, you're scheduled for a check up," McCoy informed him. "As in now."

"I'll reschedule my appointment. As captain, I believe I am able to do that."

It wasn't a question.

_Knew it._

"But-" he began, only to be cut off by Jim.

"I said I'll reschedule it. Nothing for you to worry about," Jim said cooly.

_Hmmph. Reschedule._ _He always does this when something's bothering him and when he's hurting. I'll get to the bottom of this. Maybe that pointy eared hobgoblin will help._

"Good day, doctor."

Jim was obviously dismissing him, so McCoy turned and walked out of the room.

As he glanced over his shoulder back at Jim, he was just in time to see the poker face slip away to be replaced by a look of hurt, pain, anger, and sadness. It was the most heartbreakingly broken look he had ever seen.

(A/N: Please review! Thanks again to restfulsky5 for the wonderful ideas, :D)


	3. Vulcan Chats

(A/N: Thank you to all the people who followed and/or favorited this story! Thanks to Guest, sherry15, MusicalNinja15, and Minecraft Guardiansaiyan for reviewing! Please read and review. On with the story!)

Spock sat quietly on his meditation mat in his room, eyes closed, going over the events of the day.

His peace was shattered by a loud, impatient knock on the door.

"Come in," he called.

The door opened and McCoy walked in, wearing his something's-wrong face.

"Yes, Dr. McCoy? How may I be of assistance?"

"Don't give me that logical Vulcan stuff today; I'm not in the mood," McCoy frowned. "And in answer to your question, you can help me with Jim."

One of Spock's eyebrows shot to the top of his head in the way the crew found so amusing.

"Help you with Jim? I was not aware the captain was in need of assistance."

McCoy glared at him, the glare quickly turning into a look of worry.

"He was late for his yearly checkup yesterday, and when I went to go get him I found him on the floor of his room bawling his eyes out like a sick cow. He said something about Winona, but before I could question him further he did that poker face thing where you can't tell what he's thinking."

Spock's other eyebrow shot to the top of his head.

"I was not aware that the captain turned into a sick cow. Is he alright? And who is Winona?"

McCoy gave him a scathing look.

"I said LIKE a sick cow, not IS a sick cow. It was a simile. And Winona is the woman who gave birth to him, but bringing him into the world is the only thing I'm crediting her with. She doesn't even deserve the title mother."

Spock blinked at McCoy with mild curiosity.

"Why? What is wrong with Jim's mother?"

"Well, for one thing she was basically the cause of all his troubles. If she hadn't done so-and-so, so-and-so wouldn't have happened to Jim," McCoy explained shortly.

"What happened to Jim in his childhood?" Spock inquired.

"Well, after he was born, Winona took care of him until she married a man named Frank when Jim was six or so; I'm not really sure of his age. When she married Frank, she went off planet and rarely came home. Frank abused Jim and his brother, Sam, verbally and physically. Then, Sam ran away when Jim was eleven or something like that, and, well, I guess that was when the sexual abuse started. Frank finally got fired and couldn't take care of Jim, so he sent him off to live with his aunt and uncle on Tarsus IV. Jim finally had a good life, but then he discovered a fungus. He told Kodos about it, but Kodos did nothing. A year later, Kodos got all the people together. He told them that if he called their name, go stand in a line away from the other people. Names were called, and all those people whose names were called were shot right there. Jim survived and rescued about twenty six kids who were sentenced to death. He protected them for about a year before Starfleet came and helped them. By then, Jim's dumb luck had run out, and he had been captured and tortured by Kodos. When Starfleet found him, he was barely alive. He survived, and a few months later erased all of the records that told who he is. I only got it out of him when he was severely drunk. So, it was basically Winona's fault that everything happened to him," McCoy sighed.

Spock hesitated, then asked quietly,

"Which list was a Jim on?"

McCoy sighed again.

"He never told me."

"And why do you need my help?" Spock queried.

"We need to talk with Jim and help him through this, get him to tell us exactly what happened. Winona showing up would've triggered a lot of unwanted memories, and Jim will probably have realistic flashbacks, nightmares, etc."

"What do you mean by 'realistic flashbacks'?" the Vulcan asked.

"When he has a flashback, they're very lifelike, and he thinks that he's whenever and wherever the flashback is from. He thinks I don't know, but I do," McCoy answered.

Spock unfolded his legs and stood.

"Then I suggest we go talk to the captain."

And with that, they both hurried out of the room.

(A/N: So, here's another chapter! Sorry if I messed up some of Jim's past; if I did, correct me, and I'll fix it as soon as I can! Please, please, please review. It saddens me that there have been over 1,400 views and only seven reviews. Just kidding; keep up the reviews and thanks for reading!)


	4. Winona's Thoughts

(A/N: So, here's the chapter I told you guys was giving me all that trouble and that I promised! And, Guest, I am PERFECTLY aware that publishing an author note as a chapter is 'tacky', as you say, but what did you expect me to do? P.M. everyone? What I did was the easy way. Thank you to all the loyal readers, even the snobbish ones. Sorry I can't post the reviewers names this time; I'll try to do it next time. Read and review, and see the important author note at the end of this chapter.)

Winona sat in front of the flickering fireplace, deep in thought.

_Why didn't they tell me that Frank was abusing them?_

She recalled Jim's angry, hurt filled words:

_"You were never there for me! You didn't give a dang about me!"_

Oh. Of course. THAT was why. But why not Tarsus IV? Oh, yes. Same reason. Winona had never meant for Jim to be on Tarsus IV. How did he even get there, was something she had to look into. Finding Frank and Sam were another.

Suddenly she found herself regretting everything she had done, said, and even thought to hurt Jim. All she wanted was that innocent little boy back who bounced around excitedly, showing her what he had made at school. But it was too late. She had done everything wrong, and she had lost her little boy.

Now he was all grown up, and was no longer innocent and bubbly. And she had missed all of that. She had missed him getting his first date, his first college scholarship, and his whole life except for the first five or six years. God, how she wanted to see those other 17 years that she had missed.

The reason she had treated Sam and Jim so badly was because she was scared. She thought that she couldn't raise a child without George. Oh, how she wished George was still alive. None of this would have happened, and she would have a mother-son relationship with her sons. But now, they hated her. They misunderstood her actions, and now they were so independent each had gone off and started living their own life.

Winona sighed. There was so much she needed to tell Jim and Sam, once and if she found Sam and gotten Jim to trust her. How she loved them, how she missed them, how she was sorry, and one other little thing.

One little thing that she had never anyone, not even Frank. Now she was glad she hadn't told Frank.

Winona's cell phone rang and she picked it up.

"Hello? Oh, hey honey. No, I didn't forget. Yes...yes. This Saturday at 10 o' clock in the morning. Uh-huh... Yep. Okay. Love you. See you soon. Bye."

Winona hung up and sighed.

Sam and Jim had a sister.

She didn't know about them, and they didn't know about her. Soon, all that would change.

On one of her away missions, she had repeatedly slept with one of her fellow crewmembers, Alan Maurman. Soon she had gotten pregnant, and Alan had decided he only wanted their 19 year old daughter and not Winona. They switched her back and forth every other week, and these two weeks were Winona's. These two weeks, she would tell them all.

But first, she needed to fix things with Jim. But how? Maybe she could ask his two best friends to talk to him. What were their names? Spook and Mickey? No, Spock and McCoy. That was it.

Winona got an idea, and she searched the internet on her PADD. She clicked on the Starfleet website and soon had found McCoy's and Spock's e-mail addresses.

She wrote an e-mail, the exact same one to both of them except for the names, and proofread it.

**_Dear Dr. McCoy,_**

**_This is Winona Kirk. I need to talk to Jim about something really important, but he is mad at me. I understand that he hates me for what I did, but back then I didn't realize what I was losing. Now I do, and I want him back.I need you and Mr. Spock to talk to Jim for me, and convince him that I love him and that I'm sorry. I know how this sounds, but he's so mad at me he won't listen to me. Please, Mr. McCoy. _**

**_Sincerely, Winona Kirk_**

Winona took a deep breath, let it out, then pressed send. Well, there was one thing done. Hopefully he and the Vulcan would help her. If not..well, she hoped it wouldn't come to that.

Her cell rang again, and when she glanced down someone was calling her from...Austin, Texas?

She picked it up and answered.

"Hello?"

What she heard nearly gave her a heart attack.

(A/N: Cliffhanger! Sorry this was short; like I said I've been busy. Anyway, a virtual tribble to anyone who can guess what freaked Winona out! And now, the first poll: should I put Carol in this story? or should it be just Spock, McCoy, and Jim? Second poll: if I put Carol in, should there be a slight romance between her and Jim? Not taking over the whole story, but just a slight romance. Or should there be just friendship? Your decision; please review!)


	5. Cuts and Talks

(A/N: Thank you guys for all of your reviews! Thanks to Minecraft Guardiansaiyan, MusicalNinja15, Vampire Diaries Rocks, Compliment Giver, restfulsky5, TechnoGirl314, Aneeta Potter, Guest, and guest reviewer Dina for reviewing. And Dina, yes, I am only 11. Thanks for the compliment, and yes, school does come first in my life since I'm working towards college. All the red and green stripes underneath your guys' names look wonderful; X3. Virtual tribble to MusicalNinja15 for guessing why Winona nearly had a heart attack! I'm not telling you guys; you'll find out soon enough. So far there's one for Jim and Carol romance and one for Jim and Carol friendship. Keep reviewing; your guys' reviews decide the outcome! MusicalNinja15 had a wonderful idea: Jim and Carol friendship with a slight attraction for each other. What do you guys think? Don't forget to review and tell me! This ends my long author note...)

Jim stood in his room in front of the large, full size mirror with his shirt off.

He studied his upper body with intense concentration, then with a red pen made a few lines on his chest and two arms.

The last couple of days after Winona's visit had been stressful for Jim. He had gotten barely any sleep because of nightmares, and had started sneaking McCoy's knockout medicine. He would carefully sedate himself just enough to make himself sleep for about ten hours; no more and no less.

_Who does she think she is, just waltzing in here and announcing she wants to be a part of my life again after all these years?_

One little part of him hoped maybe she was telling the truth, but he roughly pushed it away. Back to the matter at hand: relieving his stress.

Jim pulled out a lead pencil from his desk drawer, and with perfect precision began rubbing the tip back and forth, making a cut right on the red pen mark.

He had experimented with the best ways, and by far this was best. It gave the him satisfaction, the feeling of being in control that he loved so much, and it almost never bled. However, this time he accidentally rubbed too long and blood began oozing out.

Jim watched with fascination as the cut bled, then he did the same thing four more times: one on his chest, one on his right arm next to the first cut, and two on his left arm.

Meanwhile, McCoy was in his room with Spock, reading the e-mail.

McCoy glanced over at Spock.

"What do you think?"

After a moments silence, Spock replies,

"I think it would be most logical to talk with Jim."

"Okay. Right then. Let's go."

Spock and Bones stood, heading for Jim's room.

* * *

><p>Jim stood in front of the mirror, watching as the blood oozed out.<p>

Suddenly he heard footsteps in the hall.

_Please keep going, please keep going, please keep going..._

The footsteps stopped at his door, followed by a knock.

_Dang it._

"Jim? Are you in there? Spock and I need to talk to you."

Jim didn't answer and frantically plastered paper towels against the bleeding cuts, crumpling them and throwing them away once the bleeding had stopped.

"Jim? Open up. For the millionth time, _I have the override code_. So open up."

"One moment," he called, yanking his shirt on over his cuts, and hoping that they wouldn't bleed through without band aids.

Running a hand through his hair, he ordered,

"Computer, door open. Lights on eighty percent."

The lights dimmed slightly as the door hissed open, revealing Spock and McCoy.

"Oh, hey Bones, hey Spock. What's up?"

Spock glanced at McCoy, who just shrugged and shot Spock a look back.

"It's about your mother," Spock started.

Jim's whole body stiffened at the mention of Winona.

_What does he know about it?_

"What do you even know about that?" he demanded, his cheerful demeanor gone.

"We don't. We just guessed," McCoy ventured.

"Then why are you even here if you don't know for sure?" Jim challenged, glaring at them both.

"Captain, your mother cares for you. She is truly sorry," Spock told him calmly.

"How do I know you aren't lying?" Jim demanded.

"I am Vulcan. Vulcans do not lie."

"You're not fully Vulcan. You're HALF Vulcan, remember?" Jim said coldly.

McCoy took a step forward. Jim had gone too far.

"James Tiberius Kirk, take that back you little brat!"

"No!" Jim shot back. "It's true. He is half Vulcan."

"That doesn't mean you have to be nasty about it! Take it back!"

"NO!"

"Enough!" Spock shouted.

McCoy and Jim stared at Spock. Rarely did he ever yell, so he must have been serious.

"I AM half Vulcan, but that is nothing to be ashamed of. And I do not lie. Jim, your mother cares for you a lot. The doctor and I implore, on your mother's behalf, to give her a chance."

Jim stared at the ground, not saying anything.

"Please, Jim."

After another moments silence, Jim sighed.

"Fine. I'll talk with her Sunday afternoon at the Riverside Café near the spaceport. Happy?"

"Yes Jim, thank you. Now, you and Dr. McCoy, apologize to each other."

Jim faced McCoy.

"I'm sorry, Bones. I shouldn't have called Spock that."

Bones' face softened.

"It's okay, kid. Sorry for calling you a brat."

Jim gave him a tiny grin.

"I am a brat."

"Yeah, you are, aren't you."

McCoy grabbed Jim in a hug, and Jim noticed some of the blood from his cuts had soaked through his shirt.

_Darn._

He pulled away and attempted to hide the blood.

"Can you guys go? I need to get in the shower."

"Certainly, Captain."

Spock turned to leave, but McCoy frowned.

"Jim, what are you hiding?"

McCoy grabbed Jim's wrist and studied the blood on his shirt.

"What happened?"

"Nosebleed," Jim lied. "And I really need to get in the shower."

McCoy eyed him, but let go of his wrist.

"Sure you do, kid."

He and Spock turned and walked out the door.

The second the door closed behind them, Jim let out a sigh.

His secret was safe.

(A/N: So, an extra long update in honor of my little sister (not so little now) Sabella's sixth birthday! Yet one more year off the list to keep boys away from her...So, don't forget to review what you want Jim and Carol's relationship to be like, and tell me what you think of MusicalNinja15's idea. And yes, I know you guys probably think that the whole cutting with a lead pen thing is highly improbable and far fetched, but it really works.)


	6. Runaways and Sisters

(A/N: Thanks to reviewers MusicalNinja15, Kalsife, Vampire Diaries Rocks, and last but not least, the brainpower for this chapter, Minecraft Guardiansaiyan. Thanks to all you readers and reviewers and followers and favoriters! Don't forget to review about Jim and Carol's relationship, because I can't wait much longer to bring her in. Review, please! Oh, and one more thing: if you want me to update, I have to get ten more reviews. I know, I'm evil. So review!)

Out in the hall, Spock and McCoy shared a suspicious look. They reached an unspoken agreement, then, without warning, barged right back into the room.

What they saw shocked them.

Jim was standing in front of them, staring at them with his mouth wide open and eyes wide with shock. But that wasn't what shocked them. What shocked them were the cuts and scars all over his torso and two arms. Some were bleeding still, others were just scabbing over, and yet others were as faded as they were going to get.

All three stood like that for a moment before reality struck Jim and he jumped into action. Wrestling his shirt over his head, he yanked on his Starfleet jacket and shoes, grabbed his car keys off the table, and bolted out of the room.

Coming to their senses, Spock and McCoy raced after him, calling his name.

Jim climbed into his car and jammed the key into the ignition, slamming his foot down on the accelerator and speeding away.

McCoy and Spock slowed to a stop, watching helplessly as the truck sped away into the city.

"That went well," Spock commented.

McCoy gave him a look like,

_Seriously?_

"Yeah, but what were all those scars about?"

Suddenly a thought struck McCoy.

"_Darn_, I thought he'd stopped that!"

"What do you mean, doctor?" Spock questioned.

"When we were roommates in the Academy, he used to cut all the time because of his past kept giving him nightmares. I made him stop, but I guessed he started again, what with Winona and all that," McCoy explained.

"Well, then, I believe the most logical thing to do is tell Mrs. Kirk about her son running away. Then we try to find him."

"Who's going to call him?" McCoy questioned.

Spock just looked at him, and McCoy got the hint.

"Oh, fine."

Yanking out his cell, he dialed Winona's number and waited.

After a few moments, Winona answered.

"Winona Kirk here."

"Hey, Winona. It's Leonard."

He could hear her voice become hopeful.

"Did you talk to Jim? Did anything happen?"

McCoy heaved a sigh.

"Jim ran away."

"What? But I really need to tell him something!"

"What? What do you need to tell him?"

Winona heaved a sigh.

"Jim and Sam have a sister, and I just got in touch with Sam. Sam and their sister are both arriving on Saturday. tomorrow!"

"They have a - no, never mind, I don't want to know how that happened. But Jim said he'd talk to you Sunday afternoon at the Riverside Café near the spaceport."

"That's too late!"

"Well, it'll have to do."

Winona heaved another sigh.

"Fine. But please, find my son?"

"Of course. Bye."

"Bye."

McCoy hung up and it was his turn to sigh. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

><p>The next day found Jim near the Riverside Spaceport, handing out luggage to people as they came out of the hovercraft, occasionally getting some money and thankful greetings.<p>

He heard a feminine voice complaining,

"Mom! I can't my bags!"

Jim looked up.

"Maybe I can help you. What did they look like?"

The nineteen year old smiled at him.

"They were black with silver lined handles."

Jim rummaged around and soon scooped up the two bags.

"Here you are, miss."

"Thank you," she beamed.

"No problem," he smiled. "I'm Jim."

"I'm Leah."

"Leah?"

Jim heard a familiar sounding woman's voice and turned around. Immediately his jaw dropped in shock.

"_Mom?_"

Winona smiled uneasily.

"Hello, Jim. This is you and Sam's sister, Leah."

All Jim could do was stare.

(A/N: This'll be the last chapter for a while, because my mom took away my devices. Work on those reviews!)


	7. Asthma and Brothers

(A/N: So, thanks to all the patient readers and reviewers out there! And, I recently published a oneshot, if you want to go to my profile and check it out. Also, I have made my decision for the Jim and Carol poll: due to the results, as no one seemed to like MusicalNinja15's idea, they will only have friendship. Plus I'm considering leaving Carol out completely and having it just Jim, Bones, and Spock. And I have a confession to make: I have recently discovered I am indeed a McKirk, Spirk, and Spock/McCoy/Kirk lover. So I'm resisting the need to add slash to this story. X3, I feel so ashamed. So, you can expect to see some more Spock, Bones, Jim, Winona, Leah, Winona's mystery caller, and another shock. Oh, I am SO taking advantage of the my-story-my-universe thing. Congrats to MusicalNinja15 for guessing the caller. Just two more things, then I'll start on the chapter. One: this story will NOT center around my OC. I am not a fan of OCs who take over the story. Two: you guys are lucky I love you all so much I uploaded another chapter. SO lucky. But still, you'll get your cliffie at the end of this chapter as punishment. On with the real chapter!)

McCoy was pacing back and forth as Spock watched in slight amusement at the doctor's frantic pacing.

"We will find the captain," he calmly assured Leonard.

Bones stopped pacing and glared at him.

"Dang it, Spock! How can you be so calm?"

"Because I know that Jim would not just leave his crew and career behind," Spock answered. "Besides, he's famous. He cannot just disappear. Everyone knows him."

As if on cue, McCoy's comm. rang, and he answered it.

"What do want, cause it better be good," he growled into it.

Spock just shook his head in obvious disapproval.

"Hi, this is Winona. And, I found Jim. He, um, has a sister and just found out and now he's freaking out and I don't know what to do!" Winona burst out.

"What!?" McCoy broke into a stream of cuss words, and Spock pulled the comm. away from him.

"Mrs. Kirk, this is Commander Spock. Tell me where you are, and the doctor and I will immediately come there with the proper equipment," he spoke into the comm.

"We're at the spaceport- oh, commander, I don't think he can breathe!"

"We are coming, Mrs. Kirk."

Spock hung up and whirled around, displaying slight anxiety.

"She says he is having an asthma attack. We must go to the spaceport immediately."

McCoy had already snatched up his medical bag and was on his way out the door.

When they reached the spaceport, they immediately saw a crowd gathered near the luggage pickup, and they shoved their way through the crowd.

"CMO, coming through!" McCoy called, pushing people out of his way.

When they finally broke through the crowd, they saw Winona and a tall, pretty teenage girl with light green eyes and wavy black hair worriedly bending over Jim, who was bent over gasping and wheezing for breath.

"Curse his asthma," McCoy muttered, dropping down so he could see Jim's face and pressing the inhaler to his mouth.

Jim immediately began taking deep gulps of air, eventually slowing his breathing and taking even gulps of air. After a few minutes McCoy pulled the inhaler away and Jim straightened.

"Thanks, Bones," he rasped, eyeing McCoy and Spock warily.

"Don't mention it, kid," McCoy replied, tucking away the inhaler.

Winona, Jim, Spock, McCoy, and the teenage girl stood there in the middle of the crowd of people, shifting around uncomfortably. Eventually, the teenager broke the silence.

"I'm Leah, and this is my mother, Winona. And apparently, this is my brother," she introduced. "And you two must be Spock and Bones."

"Woah, woah, woah," Jim hastily interjected, "only I get to call him Bones. That's _my _nickname for him."

Leah tossed her hair and gave Jim an exact mirror image of his prize winning smirk.

"Nice to meet you, Spock and _Bones_," she smiled innocently.

Jim glowered at her as she smirked at him, and Winona groaned inwardly.

_Looks like they won't get along as much as I'd originally hoped. _

"Why don't we all get lunch together?" she suggested.

"Of course," Spock agreed, and McCoy nodded his head in agreement.

"Leah? Jim?"

"Oh, sure," Jim replied absently, concentrating with all his might on giving Leah his best glower.

"Yeah, mom. That sounds great," Leah answered sweetly.

They all piled into the car, and Spock, Bones, and Winona listened to Leah and Jim arguing.

"Bones is _my _nickname for him!"

"I can call him that if I want!"

"No, you can't!"

"Yes, I can!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"_Both of you STOP_!" Winona shouted over the noise. They both fell into silence while glaring at each other, and Winona sighed.

They all arrived at a new restaurant that had just been built called Space Subway, complete with a space theme, and ordered hamburgers and French fries, while Jim and Leah had a 'dirtiest look' contest.

"Both of you, stop it," Winona sighed.

Leah and Jim looked away from each other and completely ignored the other, while Winona sighed again.

A young man with broad shoulders and blonde hair caught her attention, and when she saw his face she gasped in shock.

Jim glanced up, and his jaw dropped open when he caught sight of the man.

Winona swayed slightly in her seat, and Spock steadied her.

"What is it?"

She pointed, and Spock turned to see a young man weaving his way towards them.

"Who is that?"

Jim leaped to his feet and answered for her.

"Sam!"

(A/N: Quite sorry for making you all wait so long, but I hope you enjoy! Alright, I'm done with the editing. I suggest that you go back and re-read the story, and I'll work on another chapter!)


	8. Brothers, Fights, and Mysterious Men

(A/N: So, hey y'all! I'm just letting you know that I deleted two of my stories, 'See You Tonight' and 'Stupid Girl', due to my learning from catspats31 that including lyrics in fanfics are against the rules. So, a little shout out to all of you who have written songfics, you might want to delete them and instead, try writing oneshots that are based on the song and don't include song lyrics. Ah, and here's the next chapter!)

Jim launched himself at his brother, wrapping his arms around Sam in a tight hug.

"Easy there, Jimmy," Sam laughed, hugging his brother back. "Let me get a good look at you."

Jim pulled away and Sam held him out at an arms length, his eyes sweeping over his younger brother's body.

"Well, looks like you've gone and grown up," Sam grinned. "Have you found a good girl yet?"

Jim flushed and stammered, "Well, um, uh, not exactly..."

"Not yet; he just has the biggest reputation of womanizer ever seen," McCoy cut in.

Jim glared at McCoy and said icily, "Actually, I _do_ have a girl I like."

Bones inwardly groaned. _Great. I save his life from an asthma attack and he STILL is mad at Spock and I for barging into his room_.

Sam nudged Jim and teased, "So, who's the lucky girl? Or should I say _un_lucky girl?"

"Uh, yeah. I don't think so," Jim smirked. "I am _so _not telling the blackmail genius of sixth grade."

At Winona and Leah's confused looks he explained, "In sixth grade he went around getting personal information from everyone, then, using the information, blackmailed them into buying him 3 bags of candy per person. In the end, he ended up with a monster of a stomachache with me having to look after him."

Sam grimaced at the thought, then rolled his eyes at his brother.

Leah studied Jim and Sam, noting how much they were alike. Broad shoulders, blond, gold-streaked hair, and bright blue eyes, Jim's eyes being a shade lighter. _Maybe it won't be so bad having them for brothers after all._

Just then, Jim told Sam loudly, "You should see Leah's plain black hair. It's so ugly. I can't even tell she brushed it this morning!"

_Or not._

Leah's temper flared at his words, and without thinking she launched herself at Jim and landed an uppercut right on his jaw.

Jim reeled back, shocked, and dodged the wrong way, slipping to the floor as she landed a right cross on his nose. There was a sickening crack, then blood spurted out of Jim's nose.

The restaurant was silent as Jim snatched up a napkin and held it to his nose, and Leah backed away, horrified.

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry, I did it without thinking!" she burst out.

Suddenly, Sam broke into laughter. "That was awesome! And people say girls can't punch!" Sam helped Jim to his feet, grinning. "Jim, she broke your nose!"

"I can see that," Jim muttered. "Can feel it, too."

Leah glanced around at all the eyes on her, and she backed toward the door. "I'll be in the car," she said hurriedly, darting out the door. She slid into the backseat and buried her head in her hands. _Great. I could have been good friends with him, but I had to go and break his nose._

There was a creak as the door of the backseat opened, then someone slid in next to her.

"What do you want?" she said, her voice muffled.

Silence for a moment, then, "Don't worry, you aren't the first person to break my nose."

Leah raised her head. "What do you want?" she repeated.

"To make you feel better?" he ventured.

When that didn't work, he grew serious. "Look, I'm sorry for teasing you. I actually really like your hair."

Leah smiled at him. "Thanks. I'm sorry for breaking your nose and bruising your jaw."

Jim grinned. "Don't worry about it. Now I can say I was attacked by a ferocious female and survived."

She glared at him and held up her fist threateningly.

Jim raised his hands in mock surrender. "Sorry, sorry. I take it back!"

"Good."

Jim paused for a moment. "Do you want to go to the spaceport? You know, walk there and back? It won't take that long."

Leah grinned. "I'd love to."

They slid out of the car, locking it, and began walking.

"Besides, I have to pick up my truck anyway," Jim told her.

"Okay."

They arrived at the spaceport after picking up some ice cream with cones, and Jim scanned the parking lot. "There it is."

He pointed at a black truck with the Starfleet insignia spray painted gold on the side.

"Nice truck," she complimented.

"Thanks. It used to be my dad's, but with a fresh coat of paint it looks brand new," Jim explained proudly.

"Look! A spaceship is landing!" Leah exclaimed in wonder, pointing up at the spaceship with one hand and shading her eyes with the other.

"Yep! C'mon, let's go hand out luggage as they get off. Sometimes people will give us a tip!"

He pulled her towards the luggage rack, and they began handing out luggage, occasionally getting a tip.

* * *

><p>A man pulled his hat down over his eyes and stepped off the spaceship. Over twenty years of living on Romulan had taken its toll, and he was glad to be back on his home planet again.<p>

He scanned the crowd while heading toward the luggage rack, glancing up in slight surprise as he was handed his luggage by a young man. "Here you go, sir," the young man smiled. He just nodded, studying the man as long as he dared then moving on.

_Could it be, after all these years?_

One more glance at the young man's features revealed he was right, and he pondered over his options. Deciding to stay low for a while and look into where the young man and his family lived, he moved along.

Still, he couldn't help needing to confirm his suspicions. He nudged another man beside him.

"Who was that young man handing out luggage with the young woman?"

The other man looked surprised that he didn't know.

"That's the famous Captain James Tiberius Kirk of the U.S.S. Enterprise!" he replied, moving away to greet a woman.

_Captain James Tiberius Kirk of the U.S.S. Enterprise. _

He silently rolled the name around on his tongue. Yes, now his suspicions were confirmed.

(A/N: Alright you guys, here's the new chapter you all deserve! And if you want, you can try to guess who the mysterious man is. Like I said, I'm taking full advantage of the unspoken my-story-my-way rule. You can guess whether it's a character from the movies or a new character, possibly a bad guy that I made up. Happy guessing! Oh, and I would recommend going back and rereading the story, as I changed some big things and some minor things. Tell me what you think!)


	9. Missions and Men Again

(A/N: OMG I am SO FREAKING SORRY for the wait, you guys! Really, I am. I've just been busy and depressed; not feeling up to another chapter. Well, here it is! Thannks for all the views, reviews, follows and favorites. Here we go!)

"Jim Kirk!"

Jim turned around and immediately straightened, bringing his hand to hs forehead in a salute.

"Admiral Jameson," he greeted.

Jameson nodded to Leah then spoke to Jim, "At ease, captain."

Jim let his hand drop to his side, and Jameson glanced over at Leah curiously.

"She's my sister-in-law, sir," Jim explained as Leah swung a bag off the rack and handed it to an old lady.

Jameson inspected Jim next. "Good god, man. How in the world did you get that broken nose and bruised jawbone?"

"Um, Leah gave it to me," Jim mumbled.

Jameson looked at Leah incredously, and she flushed.

"He was teasing me!" she protested.

"Oh, of course. Jim Kirk is known for his snarky comments and teasing. But you have one heck of a punch by the looks of him," Jameson complimented her.

"Thanks," she smiled, flushing redder at the praise.

"Now, Jim, what did you learn from this?" Jameson continued, looking at the young man. The latter stared at the ground.

"Never to provoke a woman with muscles and a temper, sir," Jim replied dutifully.

Leah stared at him, and he burst into laughter.

"Kidding, kidding!" he grinned. "So, admiral, what brings you here today?"

"We have a mission for you. We recently have been threatened by an unknown source, but we traced it to Romulan. You and your crew will find who it or they are, and bring them beack to Starfleet headquarters. Got it?"

Jim nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Good. Oh, and have a good time handing out luggage until the mission tomorrow," Jameson added with a twinkle in his eyes.

Jim smiled, as did Leah. "Yes, sir," they said in unision.

"Good." Jameson sighed. "You're exactly like your father, Jim. From the hair, eyes, body build, and personality, you're exactly like him."

"Thank you, sir."

Jameson smiled at them both. "I've got to get back to headquarters. Have a good day!"

"You, too!" they said together once again.

As Jameson turned and strolled away, the mysterious man pulled his hat down farther over his face.

_Tomorrow on the U.S.S. Enterprise,_ he noted to himself. _Good._

(A/N: Okay, short chapter, but that's because this one is essential to the plot. Man, are you guys going to be surprised when you find out who the man is. TheMusicalNinja31 and Vampire Diaries got incredibly close when they said Frank; so hopefully that will give you another good hint. Again, sorry about the late chapter!)


	10. Romulan Attacks and the Mysterious Man

**(A/N: OH MY FREAKING GOSH, YOU GUYS! IT'S BEEN SO LONG AND I'M SO SORRY FOR TOTALLY NEGLECTING THIS STORY! I've just been kind of, okay, a lot busy lately with chores, AWANA, school, and one more new thing: chicks! Speaking of chicks, I need to name them. We have twelve of them, hoping they're mostly hens, so I'll take girl names and boy names. So far I've got Hope, Charity, Faith, Joy, Grace, Arthur, and...Mr. Arachne von Tweedledum Fudgy Face! I know; I'm nuts. But still, I need five names and a beta! Anyone want to beta my newest Percy Jackson story? I'll take anyone!)**

Jim strode through the halls of the U.S.S. Enterprise, enjoying the feeling of being back on his ship.

"Scotty!" he called to the engineer. "How did the repairs go while I was…gone?"

"Fine as a fiddle, captain," Scotty called back. "Just makin' sure that the engine's all ready for takeoff."

"Great. Let me know as soon as she's ready," Jim replied, walking onto the bridge.

Chekov dutifully calls, "Keptin eez on ze bridge."

Jim grinned. "Thanks, Ensign Chekov."

"Lieutenant, sir. Lieutenant Chekov," Chekov corrected.

"Wow, you got a promotion?" Jim clapped Chekov on the shoulder. "Congratulations!"

The young Russian beamed. "Thank you, sir."

Jim sat down in his captain's chair just as Scotty's voice crackled over the loudspeaker.

"Ready for takeoff, captain!"

He leaned back in his chair. "Mr. Sulu? Punch it."

"Yes, sir."

Sulu pushed forward the engine switch, and the ship shot forward with a lurch.

Jim leaned back in his captain's chair, relishing the exhilaration of taking off.

"Ah, space," he breathed. It had been so long since he had been in space, what with all the repairs on the Enterprise, that he had nearly forgotten what it had felt like. _Woo-hoo! _He felt like jumping up and down with joy.

Too late, he noticed Spock beside him. _Dang it._

The Vulcan gave him a look that was laced with disapproval.

"It is illogical to be so excited about being in space when you have been here so many times," Spock said with mild irritation.

"Sorry, Spock." This time Jim couldn't resist, and he leapt to his feet, spreading his arms wide and twirling like a kid. "I just love space so much!"

The whole bridge crew chorused, "We know, we know. You've told us a thousand times."

Jim plopped down in his chair and just grinned from ear to ear, all of his present troubles with family forgotten for the moment.

The crew exchanged glances with each other, glad that their captain and friend was acting like his normal, cheerful self.

There was a swish as the turbo lift doors opened, and McCoy stormed onto the bridge. Without giving Jim time to react, he stabbed multiple hypos into Jim's neck.

"You are LATE for your vaccinations!" he raged. "You never came in for that appointment!"

Jim shrank down in his chair good naturedly. "Sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it this time!" McCoy stabbed another hypo into Jim's neck and yanked it out, the whole bridge crew wincing in time with his movements. He shot them all a glare, and they quickly turned back to their stations as he once again vaccinated Jim. "Just remember next time you don't get your vaccinations and get a nice case of Andorian Shingles that YOU were the one who skipped out on your vaccinations," McCoy grumbled.

"Okay, Bones. Chill. I'll be fine- WHAT THE HECK, BONES!?" Jim sprang up from his chair faster than you can say 'xenopolycynthemia' and rubbed the back of his neck where McCoy had successfully nailed him.

McCoy just gave him a smug smirk. "Yes?"

Jim glowered at him and sat back down in his chair, all earlier childish glee gone. "Humph."

The ship hovered over Romulan, and Jim stepped onto the beaming pad along with Spock, Scotty, Chekov, and Uhura. "Beam us-"

He was interrupted by an anxious call from Hendorff.

"Sir! Sensors show that we're being boarded, but no one from the launch bay has contacted us."

"Check out the launch bay," Jim ordered. "And-" He never got a chance to finish his sentence as a stream of Romulans poured into the transporter room, grinning evilly as they pointed phasers at the crew.

"Don't move," the leader ordered. "Drop your weapons and put your hands in the air."

Jim and the crew did as ordered, then Jim gave Spock a quick nod and launched himself at the nearest Romulan.

Spock immediately tackled another Romulan and delivered a swift uppercut to the jaw.

The rest of the crew followed their lead, but they were outnumbered and rapidly losing.

"There's too many of them!" Uhura called to Jim as she judo flipped a Romulan onto the floor.

Jim was just considering retreat when a figure dressed in black dropped neatly from the ceiling and delivered a whirlwind of punches and kicks to the Romulans. Their hopes renewed, the crew kept fighting until the rest of the Romulans finally retreated, frantically scrambling onto their ships and speeding away.

"Thanks," Jim gasped to the stranger, who smiled.

"No problem."

Jim scrutinized the stranger, and suddenly a flashback hit him. He stumbled backwards holding his head.

_A baby's cry broke the silence, and the man asked with a smile in his voice, "What is it?"_

_The woman held the baby closer. "It's a boy." Her voice broke. "Oh, George. You should be here."_

_There was a faint electronic voice. "30 seconds until self destruction."_

"_Hurry, what should we name him?" the man asked, a hint of desperation clear in his voice._

"_How about we name him after your father?" she suggested. In spite of being so close to death, the man laughed. "Tiberius? No, that's the worst. No, let's name him after your father. Let's call him Jim."_

_The woman stroked the baby's small wisps of golden hair that stuck up already. "Jim. Okay. Jim it is."_

"_5 seconds until self destruction," the electronic voice sounds again._

"_Honey, can you hear me?" The man's voice holds so much desperation that the woman looked up. She had never heard her husband sound so desperate. _

"_Yeah, yeah I can hear you."_

"_I love you. I love you!" A loud explosion, then silence. The woman lets out a strangled sob, clutching the baby close._

Jim's head shot up, his bright blue eyes burning into the stranger. "I know who you are."

The man smiled. "Of course you do."

Jim met the man's eyes. "You're…"

**Can you guys guess who it is now? Vampire Diaries already did! Sorry for the long time of no updating; this is a special update for today, April 9, is my 12****th**** birthday! Yay me!**

**So, I decided to edit this in because this chapter WAS originally finished on the 9****th****, but my laptop won't let me access FF for some reason…anyway, if you're reading this, it let me on!**


	11. Dads and Background Stories

**A/N: Hello, my lovelies! LOL; Monday the 14****th**** was my update day, so check out all my stories: I might have updated them! So far, I've updated Independence and Song Stories. AND, (you guys are SO lucky you won't be hanging on that cliffhanger in the last chapter for that long), I'm updating Independence again! Right now, in fact. R & R!**

"You're George Kirk," Jim said, meeting the mysterious stranger's bright blue eyes just like his own.

The stranger laughed. Even his laugh sounded like Jim's. "That I am."

Spock stepped forward. "That is not possible, as George Kirk died on the USS. Kelvin in a Romulan attack."

George met Spock's eyes. "Oh, it's entirely possible. The Romulans saved my body and resuscitated me. Then they made me a slave for twenty years. The second those twenty years were over, I escaped. I needed to see Winona and Sam again, and the son I had never gotten to see."

"Me," Jim realized softly.

"Yes, Jim. You."

Spock finally accepted George Kirk and gave him a nod. "Should we plot a course for Earth since the distress signals were just a ploy to ambush us?"

George nodded. "I would like that very much; thank you Mr…?"

"Spock Grayson, commander of the USS. Enterprise. Jim is the captain."

"I heard about that." George gave Jim an admiring grin. "Three years to become a captain, and you saved more people than I did."

Jim smiled. "Yes, sir."

"Dad," George corrected. "I'm your dad."

Jim grinned. "Yes, Dad." _I finally have a father!_

They landed on Earth an hour later, and Jim was the first one off the ship. Crew members gawked after him because Jim was NEVER the first one off the ship. He was usually making excuses to stay and work some more.

George followed him, and Jim led him to Sam, Winona, and Leah.

Winona looked up and gasped, her eyes widening when she saw George. "George!"

Sam stood and stared at George. "Dad?"

George gave Sam a smile. "Have you taken care of your mother?"

Without another word Winona rose and wrapped her arms around George. Sam did the same and Leah stood off to the side, shifting around uncomfortably.

Jim put his arm around Leah's shoulder. "Dad, this is Sam and I's stepsister, Leah."

George smiled warmly at her. "Hello, Leah. I'm George Kirk."

Leah smiled back. "Hi."

George gave Winona a questioning look, and Winona softly explained.

"Oh," he said quietly. Then he hugged her. "It's okay. I understand."

Leah studied George. "You look like Jim. Please don't tell me you act like him, too. One Jim is enough for me."

George laughed. "I don't know. But, Jim hasn't told me where he got those wounds on his face."

Leah flushed. "I, um, gave them to him."

George grinned. "I bet he deserved it."

She nodded. "Oh, he did."

Jim looked wounded. "Ouch."

"Be careful," Sam warned teasingly, "or she'll give you something to 'ouch' about."

Jim carefully edged away from Leah.

"Why don't we give George and Jim some time to get to know each other?" Winona suggested.

Sam and Leah agreed, and so George and Jim set off on a walk, talking to each other.

"So what's been going on in your life?" George asked.

Jim shrugged. "Exploring space, doing Starfleet duties, running." He stopped speaking abruptly, not being able to catch himself at the last part.

George raised his eyebrows questioningly. "Running?"

"Nothing," Jim quickly backtracked. "Just some, um, problems and complications going on in my life right now."

George studied him curiously but said nothing more. "How was your mother after I…died?"

Jim laughed bitterly. "You really want to know about my background?"

"Yes, or I wouldn't have asked," George answered, growing even more curious about his younger son's life.

"Okay, then. Here goes: after you died, my mom married a nasty son of a gun named Frank. He was pure evil. Every day, he beat Sam and I, sometimes doing worse than that." Jim pushed back his emotions. "I lost my virginity at the age of eleven. Mom didn't really care about me. Sam was her number one child, the lucky one who didn't look like you. I looked so much like you that I reminded her too much about you. She avoided me and stayed out of my life. When I was thirteen, Child Protective Services finally came and pulled me out of that place with Frank. Sam had run away, and Frank went to jail, serving an eight year sentence." A guarded look passed over Jim's face. "He gets released tomorrow. I was sent to a planet named Tarsus to live with Winona's sister and brother-in-law. I finally felt like I belonged somewhere. Then came Kodos and the massacre. There was a plant infestation, and Kodos selected half of Tarsus to live and the other to die." Jim swallowed. "I and my new family along with some friends were on the list. When the soldiers weren't watching I grabbed several of the children and slipped into the bushes. We watched as the guns went off and all those people fell dead at once. It was horrible."

George listened with vast amazement and horror at what his son had been through.

"Kodos' soldiers went around marking off the names of the dead people on the list. When they realized we were missing, they searched the whole planet for us. We hid in caves, trees, bushes...whatever we could find. As the oldest of the kids at fourteen, I was their leader. They called me J.T."

"James Tiberius," George realized.

Jim nodded. "Yes. Turns out it was a good thing I used my initials. It was easier to go through and erase my history from prying eyes, or anyone on Kodos' side who might still be looking to get revenge. The kids and I scavenged for food. One day, we found an old Starfleet communicator. I gave it to one of my kids, Kevin Riley, to try and get it to work while I scavenged for food. You might recognize Kevin's name. He's now a Starfleet officer. Kodos' soldiers were out and about that day, so I had decided it was too dangerous for them to venture out of our hiding place. That was the day I was caught. Kodos tortured me for days, trying to get me to tell him where the other kids were hiding." Jim paused with a grin on his face. "I never told him. Kevin managed to get the comm.. working, called Starfleet for help, and an hour later they were there. I nearly died, but the doctors managed to save my life. From then on I worked at erasing all traces of my past, leaving it completely blank, even hacking into Starfleet's files and deleting all of their records of my past and my medical records. After I got into bar fights, became known as a womanizer, and messed up my already messed up life even more. Then Pike came along. He convinced me to join Starfleet, and here I am," Jim finished.

George was silent, processing what Jim had just told him.

"Unbelievable," he finally said.

Jim shook his head. "Oh, it may be unbelievable, but it's true." He turned, pulling up his shirt.

George caught his breath at the numerous scars on his son's back. "Oh, Jim…" Without further thought he enfolded his youngest son in a big hug. "I'm so proud of you."

Jim's voice broke as he replied softly, "Thanks, Dad. I am, too."

**A/N: Okay, peoples. Here's your extra long chapter! I'm publishing this right now, so you'd better appreciate it! Review, please! It makes my day.**


	12. Understanding

Jim pulled away, not used to such close physical contact.

George studied his son, pleased at what he sees. A strong young man who knows how to deal with things and not rely on others to take care of him. I mean, sure he has some scars from his past, but still- not many people could have survived with such a rocky past. Something caught his eye, and he looked closely at Jim's arm. _Is that…_

"Jim." George grabbed Jim's arm and pulled the sleeve up. He stifled a shocked gasp at the scars marring his youngest son's arms.

"James, what is this?" His voice is deadly serious and Jim looks away.

"Nothing."

"James Tiberius Kirk. _Now._" His voice held such authority that Jim looked up as he was trained to do as a cadet in Starfleet. George's blue eyes were serious as he gazed at his younger son, waiting.

Jim glanced back at the ground. "It helps." His voice broke off.

"Helps what?" George asked.

Jim kept his eyes on the ground. "With the stress of being captain, and having so many people from my past having the possibility of coming back. With the fact that Winona has rejected me for years, then showed up in my life acting like it never happened."

"Oh, Jim." George's voice was gentle. "That's not the answer."

"I! t helps," Jim repeated, tears forming in his eyes as he forced them back.

George noticed. "Jim, do you ever cry?"

"Rarely. I learned not to let the person hurting me have the satisfaction of knowing that they hurt me. It'll make them want to hurt me more, knowing that they did it one time. Besides, when you're captain you have to be strong for their sake. Let them lean on you instead of vice versa. It's part of my job," Jim answered.

George met Jim's eyes. "Cry."

Jim blinked, partially surprised. "Why?"

"Crying is often the best cure for the emotionally sick," George answered gently. He held out his arms, but Jim took a step back.

"Crying never helped me," he answered. "All I got from crying was being told that I was weak and pathetic. I won't cry."

"Jim, that was a long time ago. You need to try it again," George tried to reason with him.

_He doesn't understand, either._

"I have!"

"I doubt that."

Jim flushed, getting upset. "You don't understand! I have _tried over _and _over _again, but it just doesn't work! I don't care _what _you say or think! You don't even _know _me! You've been gone for 21 years, then you come back and automatically assume that you know me! You _don't_! People say, 'oh Jim, you're so much like your father'. Maybe in appearance! Maybe a little in personality! But after that, it ends there. You didn't have an abusive father. You didn't have to survive a massacre for four freaking years and at the same time provide for 29 other kids, out of which 20 died! You didn't have ghosts coming from your past to haunt you, skeletons in your closet, voices in your head telling you that no matter what you try, you will _never be safe from your past_!" Jim took a deep breath of air and let it out. "You didn't have someone you cared about so much that you kept _everything _from them because you didn't want them getting hurt because of it! When you quote-on-quote died, I bet you didn't even _think _of mom, of Sam, of how they would feel if you disappeared, assumed to be dead." His voice broke. "You didn't even think of _me, _of your newborn son who wouldn't even get to know you."

George gazed off into the distance and finally replied quietly, "I did, Jimmy. God, I did. But then...I decided that your mother would be okay. Sam could take care of himself and his mother; he was independent. You...you would be fine with Sam and Winona. They'd take care of you."

"But they _didn't_," he retorted.

George had the decency to look surprised. "Winona, I can understand, but Sam?"

"Sam ran away when I was ten. He couldn't take Frank's abuse anymore because it seemed like I was his favorite." Jim snorted. "Favorite, my behind. He hated me more than Sam and I combined."

"And...what became of Frank?" George dared to ask.

Jim's face hardened, making him seem older than his 21 years. "He went to jail. But he's being released soon."

George nodded. _And if he comes near you and Sam, I'll hurt him._

"The point is, I won't cry. It never helped me and probably never will. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have my Starfleet duties to get back to." Jim did a sharp about-face and headed away, keeping his chin up and back straight, shoulders squared.

George watched his son go with a new respect in his eyes. _That's my son. And he overcame all of that..._

**A/N: Okay, flamers! What do ya think of this chapter? You too, people who like my story! Could I possibly reach sixty reviews? Please and thank you! 3**


	13. Talks (Sorry it's so short)

**A/N: Oh my gosh, you guys! Thanks for all the positive feedback! kasey123; I couldn't p.m. you my response, so here it is: I have something planned...Mwahhahahaha...X3. It has been SO long since an update, and I am So sorry! What can I say, depression is a killer...but I'm still here, so that's good, I guess. I've been dealing with problems lately and updating hasn't been on my top list of things to do. Sorry. I know that excuses are just that- excuses- but it's true, and I'm sorry. I hope you guys like this chapter, because it took SO long to write and it was hard, too. Enjoy, my preciouses.**

Winona. He needed to have a talk with Winona, to confront her about what happened. To ask her why she did what she did.

George stepped up to Winona and told her, "I need to talk with you. Alone."

She gave him a puzzled glance but nodded. "Okay, sure."

Winona followed him away, and after they weren't without earshot of Sam, George spoke.

"It's about Jim."

She nodded calmly. _I knew this would come._

"Why?"

That one simple question. Seemingly harmless, yet one of the most powerful, guilt-provoking words in the world.

"I...I couldn't stand how he looked. He was a living reminder of what I had lost that day," she answered softly but truthfully.

He placed his hand on her arm. "But rejecting him? Acting like he wasn't there, wasn't your son? That wasn't the way to go about it."

"I know that now," Winona replied, feeling the regret bubbling towards the surface again.

George saw that she truly was sorry and he wrapped his arms around her. "I forgive you," he murmured, the words hard to force out because of how she hurt his son, but knowing that she truly was sorry.

Winona hugged him tightly, her heart feeling about to burst with joy that her husband was with her again. "I missed you so, so much."

"And I you," he replied.

The two stood there quietly embracing each other as the sun slowly sank down in the sky, signaling the end of the day.

**A/N: Ugh; I am NOT pleased with this chapter. Sorry it's so short, but this chapter was a pain to write. But now I can move on to other chapters, so hopefully...faster updates. X3; btw, check SpiderCatDude's story 'And You Healed My Broken Heart'. It's awesome!**


	14. Flashbacks

**A/N: I am a horrible author. I don't even have an excuse for my lack of updates. All I can say is, I'm sorry, and I hope you guys like this chapter. **

He couldn't do this. God, he couldn't do this. He couldn't deal with Winona waltzing back into his life after years of ignoring him, of stabbing and has been for years. He couldn't deal with the fact that his dad was alive, and that he had been for years. He couldn't deal with his addiction to self-harm, with his constant suicidal thoughts as his life got harder each day. He couldn't do it, and there was no one he could trust to help him.

Spock and Bones had good intentions, he was sure, but Jim Kirk had been struggling with his past alone for years and had survived. He was sure he could deal with it for a while longer. Well, at least partially sure.

Jim ran a hand through his hair, letting out a soft sigh. There were things he had hidden from everyone, even Spock and his crew. Even from Bones, his best friend. Even from his dad. Jim still wasn't sure whether George Kirk was trustworthy. After all, he had stayed on Romulan while Jim was suffering in Iowa with Frank, on Tarsus with Kodos, at the Starfleet Academy with all the nightmares he had struggled to hide for so long. Then again, how was he supposed to know about his beloved wife, hating their son?

Jim drew in a shuddering breath, fighting a wave of nausea as he traced the scars on his bare chest and torso. The nightmares were getting worse. He was having more flashbacks. So far, he was alone when he had been having them. However, Jim Kirk, of all people, knew that luck wouldn't last forever. It would soon run out.

Something was going to happen soon. He was almost sure of it. The nightmares and flashbacks only got worse when something involved with his past was going to come back again. It had happened enough for him to learn to recognize the signals. Constant nausea. More frequent nightmares. More real feeling flashbacks. There were times when he couldn't sort events from the past from present events. No one understood how scary it was. Unable to pull yourself from the past, yet unable to completely be there.

Jim stood, swaying, and he put a hand on the bed to steady himself. No way was he going to Bones for some medicine to help. His friend would stubbornly insist on Jim telling him what was going on. He couldn't tell Bones what was wrong. He couldn't let his friend bear the burden he had been carrying for years, ever since his childhood. He cared too much about Bones to let him do that.

He drew in a shuddering breath, and made his way out of the room and into the corridor. The world spun sickeningly around him, and he automatically bent over, holding his head in his hands near his knees until the nausea stopped. Dang it, he could barely walk. How would he manage his duties as a Starfleet captain today?

Just like he always did, he told himself. He would fake it until he made it. Act like everything was fine until it was.

Putting on his brightest smile, he made his way down the hallway; fighting dizziness and greeting cadets and officers alike with a smile and friendly hello.

_No one suspects anything...I just may pull this off! _

Unfortunately, Jim had gotten his hopes up too soon. For just then, someone yelled his name, and as fate had it, Leonard McCoy stormed over to meet him.

"James Tiberius Kirk, I hope to God that you have a reasonable excuse for being late for your daily medical exam, and for your own sake, you'd better hope you do, too," the doctor growled.

"Hey, Bones," Jim greeted him with a bright smile.

"Don't "hey, Bones" me, you idiot," McCoy frowned, giving Jim his best death glare. Funny how he had perfected his death glare when he was a doctor and was supposed to save people's lives, not endanger them.

"I'm sorry, Bones, I just forgot. I've been busy and all with..." He trailed off as another sickening wave of nausea washed over him.

McCoy suspiciously studied his friend, knowing better than almost anyone how much of an expert Jim was at putting on masks. "Jim? You okay?"

Jim fought off the wave of dizziness and managed a nod and bright smile. "Of course I am. I'm fine."

McCoy narrowed his eyes at his friend, reading him too well to accept the lie. First of all, Jim never forgot anything, and rarely apologized. He looked pale and tired, with dark shadows beneath his eyes, and a haunted look dulling those usually bright blue eyes of his.

Jim swayed almost imperceptibly, and McCoy reflexively grabbed his friend's arm. "Jim? What's wrong? What's going on?"

"Not here," Jim answered quietly, too nauseous to be willing to fight the stubborn doctor on the subject.

McCoy led Jim back to his room and made the young man sit down on his bed. "Tell me what's going on, now," he ordered.

"I've been having worse nightmares...longer flashbacks...bouts of nausea and dizziness...don't know why...ugh, my head..." Jim clutched his head, looking utterly miserable as waves of nausea swept over him.

McCoy immediately stabbed an ever ready hypo into Jim's neck, causing the blonde to wince. "Why didn't you tell me earlier? I could have helped you!"

"...didn't want to endanger you...you know how I get during flashbacks...could kill you..." Jim winced and managed to lift head as the dizziness passed, leaving him weaker than before.

McCoy's voice softened as he began to understand his friend's reasoning. If he wasn't around Jim, Jim couldn't hurt him. "I couldn't care less about getting hurt. I want to help you, Jimmy. I'm your friend. It's what friends do."

Jim tensed up suddenly. _Dang it...not now! _"Bones. Out of the room. Leave. Now. Lock the door. Go, hurry."

McCoy stared at Jim, startled as his friend began to convulse. "Jim?"

"Now!" he gasped, fighting the flashes of memories that threatened to overcome him, to consume him. "I can't fight it much longer..."

McCoy, finally understanding what was happening, leaped to his feet and made for the door. Quick as a flash, Jim was on is feet and blocking the door.

"I don't think so," he said quietly, his voice steely and calm yet filled with hatred that McCoy had never heard the likes of before. His eyes, usually a bright blue, were darker, and filled with hate.

McCoy silently cursed. He had moved too late. The flashback had begun, and God only knew how long it would last.

"Jim? It's me, Bones. Your friend?" It came out as a question, a silent plea for acknowledgement.

"Don't call me that. My name is J.T. Not Jim. You are not my friend. You killed them. You killed those helpless kids and their parents," Jim hissed.

"Ji- J.T., I swear, I had nothing to do with the Tarsus massacre. I would've helped you protect those kids," McCoy answered quietly.

Wistfulness flashed on Jim's face. "I needed help..." Then it was wiped away with bitterness replacing it. "But no one helped me. I watched them die. I watched them starve while I could do nothing about it. I gave them my food. They should have survived. I should have died...not them. They had their lives ahead of them..."

McCoy hesitantly placed a hand on Jim's shoulder. "J.T..."

Jim moved so quickly that McCoy only saw a flash one moment, the next crying out in pain as his arms were roughly twisted behind his back.

"Don't touch me," Jim snarled, using a tone of voice he had never used with McCoy before.

The older man cringed, daring to struggle but then stopping as the hold on his arms grew stronger.

"Don't move," Jim ordered coldly, glaring at McCoy.

McCoy waited until Jim had loosened his hold a bit, then wrenched away and yanked out his phaser; pointing it at Jim. "I will fire this," he warned, pulling out his communicator next. "McCoy to Spock, come in, Spock."

Spock's voice crackled a bit, but otherwise came across clear. "Spock here."

"Get over here to Jim's room. He's having a flashback. You need-"

McCoy was abruptly cut off when Jim leaped across the room, wrapping his hands around McCoy's neck and squeezing slightly.

"This is J.T.," he spoke into the comm. "If you want to see your doctor alive again, you will not come, or I will proceed to shoot him with his own phaser. I repeat, do not come." With that, Jim ended the call and pointed the phaser at McCoy, setting it on kill.

He would not hesitate to shoot.

That he was sure of.

**A/N: A nice, long chapter for you guys. It doesn't make up for my long absence, but I hope you guys like it. **


	15. Running

**A/N: Well...it's been four months, and here I am. Sorry. I've just been really busy lately, juggling friends, school, extra activities, and things like that. But, here's an update. I hope you like it.**

Spock strode down the corridors, weaving his way around people in his rush to get to Jim's room. Yes, Jim had said not to come, but what else was there to do? He couldn't just sit around and wait for Jim to come to his senses. He didn't even know how long the flashbacks usually lasted.

Uhura noticed him and immediately knew something was wrong. Spock never rushed anywhere. He was a Vulcan (at least, half Vulcan), and was nearly always calm and logical. Quickening her pace, she fell into step beside him. "Spock, what's wrong?"

He barely even glanced at her and continued his way down the corridors, walking as fast as possible. "Jim is having a flashback, and it is important that I reach his room before he harms Doctor McCoy."

Uhura frowned. "What do you mean, harm Doctor McCoy? He would never harm Leonard. They're best friends."

"When Jim is having a flashback, he tends to not realize what he is doing. His mind is transported to another time in the past, like a hallucination," Spock explained. "The most common flashback he has is of his time on Tarsus IV. Another is his time with Frank. One time, Doctor McCoy found him cowering in his bedroom, convinced that Frank was going to find him and beat him."

They stopped in front of the door leading to Jim's room, and Spock motioned for Uhura to be quiet. Carefully placing his hand on the doorknob, he turned it, slowly opening the door.

The room was dark and silent, the curtains closed in front of the window, blocking out any sunlight.

Spock entered the room, one hand on his phaser. "Jim? Doctor McCoy?"

Uhura remained by the door as Spock moved further into the room, feeling along for the light switch. Finding it, he had barely flipped the light on, when Jim stepped out from behind the door and hit Spock over the head with a book.

Spock staggered backwards, then recovered and lunged toward Jim, attempting to yank the book from Jim's grasp.

Jim let Spock pull on the book for a moment, then suddenly let go, sending Spock careening backward and into the wall. He crossed the room and grabbed Spock by the shoulders, pulling him forward then shoving him into the wall again.

Uhura pulled out her phaser and entered the room, pointing it at Jim. "Let go of him!"

Jim whirled around at the sound of her voice. Spock immediately took advantage of Jim's momentary distraction and launched himself at the younger man, grabbing his arms and twisting his body around and onto the floor.

Jim did a quick backflip, landing on his feet, and swung his right leg into the air, successfully kicking Spock in the face with his foot. There was the sickening crack of bone breaking, and Spock stumbled backward, clutching his now bleeding nose and gasping for breath.

Uhura set her phaser to stun and fired at Jim. With almost inhuman speed he bent over backward, narrowly missing the phaser blast.

"That was a mistake," he hissed, lunging at her. Dodging him, she planted a well-executed uppercut on his jaw. Jim staggered backward, then caught his balance again. He set a fighting stance and attempted to punch her left shoulder, switching shoulders at the last second and striking her right shoulder.

Uhura blocked his punch as he tried to deliver a right hook to the side of her head before hitting him in the fact with a spinning backfist.

By this time, Spock was on his feet again. Slowly and silently approaching Jim from behind, he kicked the back of Jim's left knee with his right foot. Jim's knee buckled and he fell to the floor. Wriggling around, he managed to get on his hands and knees before Spock delivered a hard blow to his head. Falling to the floor again, he groaned, clutching his head. "Augh..."

Spock pulled out his phaser and pointed it at Jim. "Surrender."

Jim pulled himself to his feet and put both of his hands above his head. "I surrender."

Spock relaxed slightly, lowering his phaser a bit. That was when Jim made his move. Lunging toward the bed, he dropped down beside it, using it as a shield as Spock fired at him. Feeling beneath the bed, he pulled out a handgun.

Uhura saw the gun before Spock did and called, "Jim, no!"

Ignoring Uhura, Jim wrapped both hands around the grip; standing and firing at Spock. The bullet hit him in the shoulder, and Jim watched Spock's reaction

Spock automatically placed his hand against the bullet wound, feeling blood begin to seep out of it. Looking down at the wound, then back at Jim, he slumped to the floor, blood steadily trickling out of the wound.

Uhura rushed to Spock's side, kneeling on the floor beside him. Spock propped himself up on his elbows and managed to rasp, "Jim...why?"

Jim hesitated, struggling, searching for an answer. He blinked a couple times, then frowned. "Spock? Uhura? What are you doing here in my room? Spock, what happened to you?" Glancing around the room, his gaze rested on the gun in his hand, and his eyes filled with horror. _No...it can't be..._

He slowly backed toward the door, shock written on his face. _But it is._

Jim then did what he did best, what he had been doing all his life. He ran. Out the door, down the halls, blinding shoving people away, ignoring people concernedly calling his name. All he knew was that he had to get away, that he was too dangerous. So he ran.


	16. Giving Up

**A/N: So, here's another chapter!**

It was ironic how, one way or another, Jim ended up running again. Running from his past, from his present, from the ones he loved. Sometimes he got tired of running, so he stopped. But he always ended up running again.

By the time he had run about a mile from Starfleet, he was used to the strange looks he was getting. Jim could only imagine what a sight he must be. Clad in his sweat-drenched gold shirt that marked him as a Starfleet captain, running as fast as possible down the sidewalks, swerving around people and never once breaking stride. His mind barely even processed his surrounding. Everything was automatic, involuntary, a developed habit of his.

Finally reaching a thick forest of trees, he slowed a bit, finally aware of how hot he was. The only thing that kept him from stripping off his shirt was the numerous scars all over his upper body. He jogged along, grateful for the trees shading him from the hot sun. Memories came back to him as he slowed even more to a walk; memories not as overwhelming as his ones of Tarsus IV, but still vivid.

_Sam pulled his younger brother along through the forest. Jim, ten at the time, followed him, curiously asking, "Where are we going?"_

_"A secret place I know of in the forest," Sam answered, weaving his way around trees as Jim stayed close behind him. After a few minutes, a small shed-like structure came into view. Opening the door, Sam lead Jim inside. It was just big enough to hold the two of them, a couch, and a small table. "If you ever need to run away, or you just want some alone time, you can come here. No one, not even Frank, knows about this place, Jimmy."_

_Jim nodded, understanding the need for secrecy. If Frank found out about it, he would forbid them from coming here and would beat them both severely for staying there. _

From that day on, the shed had become his secret refuge. Jim had always gone there whenever life became too hard or when he needed somewhere to just be alone and think. Despite its age, he had kept it in good shape, and even now it was intact.

Pushing open the door, Jim slipped inside, shutting the door behind himself and dropping down onto the couch. _Spock...no...what have I done..._

Jim slowly slid off the couch and onto the floor, pulling his knees to his chest and resting his chin on them. Wrapping his arms around himself, he quietly began to sob. _I always knew that my past would be the end of me...I'm turning into a monster...I hurt my friends and family, chase away the ones I love..._

Tears slid down his face as he openly sobbed, rocking himself back and forth. _Why...why me? Why do I have to suffer so much?_

Jim sobbed even harder, sitting there for what seemed like forever. The meaning of the phrase "crying until there are no more tears" became personal as he sat there sobbing until no more tears came. He drew in a shuddering breath, breathing slowly. _Calm down...pull it together, Jim..._

A wave of overwhelming despair washed over him, and he knew in that moment that all he wanted to do was die. It was an interesting feeling, really. There wasn't any feeling. There was just numbness. Cold, blank numbness filling him, making his chest ache. _I want to die, I want to die, I want to die._ He chanted it over and over again in his head, completely out of hope, out of strength, out of drive.

Finally giving into temptation, he pulled out the knife he always carried on him in case of emergency. Fingering the blade, he lightly slid it across the tip of his finger, testing the sharpness. _Sharp enough._ Pushing up his shirt sleeves, he turned his left hand around so that the visible blood veins on his wrist faced upward. Then he sliced the blade across his wrist.

It was hard to explain, but the feeling of the blade slicing across his skin, watching the blood slowly seep out of the cut, was comforting, calming. The feeling of being in control drew him, addicted him to cutting. Maybe he couldn't control the rest of his life, but this part...this part, he could control. So he cut again.

Over and over again, slicing his wrist, pausing a moment to watch the blood stream out of the cuts, then slicing again. He switched hands and started slicing his right wrist. Blood trickled down his wrist, dripping onto the floor, leaving a bright red splotch.

Jim slashed his wrists over and over again, emotional pain filling his heart and physical pain filling his mind. This was it. He couldn't do this anymore. Constantly running, hiding from his demons, hoping they wouldn't find him. Unfortunately, they always did.

Finally, his hands slick with blood, he dropped the knife. Staggering to his feet, the room whirled around him in a sickening wave of dizziness. Blood was splattered all over the floor. His blood.

Jim collapsed on the couch, letting himself go limp. He could feel the blood seeping out of his wrists, dampening the couch. Darkness hovered on the edge of his mind, close to overwhelming him. Closing his eyes, he let it.


	17. Saved

McCoy had rushed after Jim, but the younger man was too fast; and soon vanished from sight. The doctor swore, then turned and headed back into the building, pulling out his communicator. "Doctor McCoy here. Send medical assistance up to Captain Kirk's room, then establish a search for Captain Kirk. He's missing."

"Got it," came the answer.

McCoy shoved his communicator back into his pocket, satisfied that Spock would receive the help he needed, and set out to find Winona and Sam. Maybe one of them would know a likely place for Jim to run to.

* * *

><p>Carol Marcus slowly approached the relatively small shed. She had seen Jim race out of Starfleet headquarters and down the street, with Doctor McCoy attempting to follow him but failing. So she had followed Jim, succeeding where McCoy had failed because of her younger age and more agile body.<p>

Jim had continued to run down the street for about a mile, then headed off the road and into the forest nearby. There he had slowed, gasping for breath, sweat soaking his clothes. Still walking at a brisk pace, he made his way through the forest; seeming to know exactly where he was going.

Carol had lost him a couple of times, but had managed to find him once again. Still following him, she lost him a third time; then had found him again just in time to see him slip inside the small shed.

He had been in there for a while now, so she had decided to finally see what all this was about; making her way toward the shed door.

Trying the door knob, Carol found it unlocked, and slowly swung the door open. She stepped into the dimly lit shed, then swung the door open wider; allowing more light to flow into the shed. Looking around, her worry grew at the blood on the couch and table.

Taking a couple more steps into the shed, her foot bumped into something. Glancing down, her hand flew to her mouth and she gasped at the sight of Jim's bloody, still body.

Pulling out her communicator, she called McCoy. "Doctor McCoy, I've found Jim."

McCoy caught his breath at her words. "Where is he?" he demanded.

"In a small shed in the forest, parallel to the road about a mile from Starfleet headquarters."

McCoy motioned to the head of the search party. "Carol Marcus found him!" Then, to Carol, "What's his condition?"

Carol knelt beside Jim, her heart hurting at the thought of the pain he must have been in to do this to himself. "His wrists are slit, and blood is everywhere. He's barely breathing, and he has a very faint pulse. He needs immediate medical attention."

"Got it. We're on our way."

* * *

><p>"<em>Jim. His name is Jim."<em>

"_You can't do anything right!"_

"_Tell me where the rest of the Tarsus survivors are."_

"_I dare you to do better."_

"_I don't believe in no-win situations."_

"_My name is Khan."_

"_Our first instinct is to seek revenge, when those we love are taken from us. But that's not who we are. We are here today to rechristen the USS Enterprise and to honor those who lost their lives nearly one year ago. When Christopher Pike first gave me his ship he had me recite the captain's oath. Words I didn't appreciate at the time. Now, I see them as a call for us to remember who we once were and who we must be, again…"_

"Jim. Wake up."

"_Keptin on zee bridge!"_

"Open your eyes."

"_Five years in space; god, help me."_

"C'mon, Jim. You can do it. Open your eyes."

Jim let out a soft groan, slowly opening his eyes. A fuzzy blue blob was hovering over him; the blue blob sharpening into Bones' face as he blinked a few times. "Hey, Bones….."

"You idiot. Did I give you permission to go off and do something like that?" Bones scolded.

Jim managed a small smile, recognizing the worry and relief in his friend's voice. "Sorry, Bones. Won't do it again…."

"You promise?" McCoy's voice broke slightly.

"Promise," Jim mumbled, closing his eyes again.

"You can get some sleep now, Jim," Bones informed him. Jim was asleep before the words even finished leaving his mouth.

(A/N: So, I finally broke my lazy streak and wrote the next chapter! Sorry about the wait, you guys. I hope this chapter is okay. I love y'all.)


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